On screen
Cast
54 credited performers
Ricky Tomlinson
Mike Bassett
Amanda Redman
Karine Bassett
Philip Jackson
Lonnie Urquart
Bradley Walsh
Dave Dodds
Martin Bashir
Interviewer
Phill Jupitus
Tommo Thompson
Dean Lennox Kelly
Kevin Tonkinson
Robbie Gee
Smallsy
Geoff Bell
Gary Wackett
Pelé
Self
Ulrich Thomsen
Dr. Hans Shoegaarten
Geoffrey Hutchings
Geoffrey Lightfoot
Angela Curran
Margaret
Artwork unavailable
Danny Tennant
Jason Bassett
Sean Gilder
Journalist
Artwork unavailable
Mark Burdis
Journalist
Nigel Lindsay
Journalist
Artwork unavailable
Sue Barker
Self
Gabby Logan
Self
Keith Allen
Self
Artwork unavailable
Natasha Kaplinsky
Self
Artwork unavailable
Dickie Bird
Self
Robert Putt
Jack Marshall
John Alford
Deano
Artwork unavailable
Dean Holness
Danny
Artwork unavailable
Scott Mean
Parksey
Artwork unavailable
Terry Kiely
Harpsey
Artwork unavailable
Peter McGillycuddy
Gorgeous
Artwork unavailable
Toby Redwood
Berksey
Artwork unavailable
Thomas Kenyon
Macca
Artwork unavailable
Andy Ansah
Super
Artwork unavailable
Robert Campion
Smudger
Artwork unavailable
Alex Lawler
Sexy
Artwork unavailable
Dion Osborne
Ossie
Artwork unavailable
Danny Husbands
Normal
Artwork unavailable
Declan Perkins
Perky
Artwork unavailable
Phil Gridelet
Grids
Jenny Frost
Self
Liz McClarnon
Self
Malcolm Terris
Phil Cope
Ian Lindsay
Manchester Rep
Artwork unavailable
Lloyd McGuire
Midlands Rep
Artwork unavailable
Chris McQuarry
Alan Massey
Stephen Walters
Supporter
Artwork unavailable
Barry Venison
Self
Ronaldo
Self
Kim Durham
Benson
Artwork unavailable
Robert Hudson
Hedges
Des Hamilton
Scottish Player
Paul Rattray
Scottish Player
Artwork unavailable
Neil Peplow
Scottish Goalie
Artwork unavailable
Glen Mulhern
Irish Player
Artwork unavailable
Kevin Hudson
Footballer (uncredited)
Martin Dahlin
Self